There was a time, as a kid, when eating those Hostess pink puff balls of coconut, marshmallow and fluffy chocolate cake with creamy filling center was BLISS. I closed my eyes and time stopped as I savored the sweet gooeyness. I would eat six of them if I could.I just wanted more.
When I was proud of the fact that I could easily read anything I began to read the cereal box out loud at the breakfast table. When I turned to the ingredients, especially for the rare "treat" of some sort of Fruit Loops or Sugar Smacks cereal...I lost interest. Who knew what they were, who could pronounce those ingredients and did I want to sound stupid by trying? No. I just ate them.
I remember wondering briefly, as a teen, where my fuscia Jordace jeans came from, and then dismissed the idea that it was even important. They were hot, they were now mine, and they would make me hot. Who cares where they came from?
Even with money...I wanted to go to the best design school in the country (as I was told), Parsons NYC...and I didn't know, nor want to know where the money came from for me to do that.My parents would figure it out, the money would come from somewhere...It wasn't my business, I didn't need to know.
As I slathered on my Apple scented lotion every morning in college, I loved the scent. I never even bother to look at the ingredients. It smelled good, would make me smell good...heck might even get me a date...maybe even my husband someday.
Today...
after seeing the death of a dear friend's mother at 57 from toxic overload of synthetic chemicals...after actually Googling some of those ingredients in my lotion, seeing "Blood Sweat and Tee Shirts", watching Food Inc. and managing my own household money and coming to terms that the money doesn't "just come from somewhere"....
I can see now that Not Knowing doesn't do me one bit of good. There might be brief pleasure, yes....but what is that pleasure? Is it fulfilling? No. Does it really make a difference for anyone else? No.
Is finding out that those ingredients/methods/sources aren't good for me or someone else inconvenient? YES.
Darn inconvenient. Sometimes even a Pain in the Rear.
Don't like it. I don't wanna choose something else!!!
I want what I want and I want it to be Tasty, Pretty, Hot, Fast, Easy, Savory and MINE. NOW.
So I resist the knowing.
And then I think, sometimes ( I am human...I mostly don't think about what I am thinking about, I just react)
I actually think about why I am doing what I am doing, or eating or buying or spending....
and I get present that it's all for love.
I love to eat because I love to live, be healthy and be with my family and friends.
Yes, I eat because it tastes good, but really...I really eat because I want to live and be healthy.
I love to wear nice clothes and feel attractive,good, be confident and have fun with my family and friends. Because they matter to me. And if I was wearing ten year old sweats they would still love me, we would still laugh and love each other.
I love to spend, yes it's fun...the female gatherer in me loves to spend, nest and decorate myself or my home...
And when I budget, plan and create the money we have to have the adventures we will have, it is an expression of love for my family....because that is the most important thing to me, being with my family and having adventures.
I get present when I am eating stuff that's not good for me, or buying stuff I don't need..I am just more present to the want than to the love I already have in my life.
Ignorance is not Bliss...Ignorance is ignorance.
Bliss is Love and being present to what is right before me...my kids and family and friends.
So Bring it On world...I want to KNOW what I Don't Know I Don't Know.
Then I will choose powerfully.
Doesn't mean I will never, ever, have a pink puff ball again...but most likely I won't, because I choose Health, Love and Adventures. Bliss.
Zen Honeycutt
www.zenspurplegarden.com
Note: Finding out what I don't know about what I don't know is also the key factor in success in business. When I continue to operate in a certain way, I am on the hamster wheel...when I find out what I don't know I don't know I then have a choice to get off and propel into the next stratosphere. Thanks to my Biz coach Alexandra Kaplan, I am doing that.www.facebook.com/alexandra.l.kaplan
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