Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Alove...I mean, Alive with love

This Valentine's Day has me particularly present to love and life.
This weekend I flew from CA to CT for my brother and fiance's Jack and Jill fundraiser Valentine's party...a chocolate lover's dream, black and red theme, glowingly creative party in the art gallery space ( with their art on the walls) my brother Tao and his fiancee Amy live in with about 80 other artists. My brother is the main facilitator of the gallery shows and has contributed back thousands of man hours to making Hartford an artistic and vibrant place to live. Amy has made people dreams come true through marketing and art and is now creating holistic wellness by being a nutritional coach and facilitator of group wellness retreats. They deserved a helluva party for all they have done and I was honored to celebrate their love and community contributions by throwing them a shindig. Then a few weeks before the actual event they surprised me and the DJ and officiant by telling us it was turning into a surprise wedding! What a hard secret to keep!
The night of the event was magical. Half way through the party, Tao and Amy surprised everyone with a beautiful wedding and moving vows. Afterwards,I danced with their friends, many I had never met, as if we were longtime best friends. People donated creative works of art and donated generously towards Tao and Amy's new life together. We ate chocolate and toasted them with love and well wishes that had people laughing,weeping and aghast with love and surprise.
I realized later, as my brain is wont to do, look back and think I should have said this or that, that I forgot to acknowledge my brother and Amy for all they have done. I forgot to say what they did to deserve all this celebration...however what everyone was present to is just who they ARE...love, creativity, fun, generous, spontaneous, courageous, caring and a contribution to so many. We were celebrating who they are being, not what they have done. I can be with that.

Then, with virtually no sleep, my brain was alive with love and buzzing, I got up before dawn and flew to CA for a wake and funeral for my beloved Nana that night.
I got that Life is short. We make is sweet. Or not. I choose sweet. Tao and Amy chose sweet. Everyone who attended and donated, despite threats of black ice and perhaps financial considerations, they all made it sweet.

My Nana, and my husband's amazing grandmother, a lovely, generous, sassy and kind lady made life sweet through loving her friends and families unconditionally. She never met a stranger. She had neighborhood children live with her when needed. She hosted parties, listened to my husbands endless stories as a child, created weekend adventures. She loved me fully, despite not being Latino or Catholic, she loved me simply because I loved/love her grandson Todd. She was a true lady.

I realized during the ceremony that no one spoke of how she was a secretary for an office, no one spoke of her job, or raising her child, the laundry or dishes etc. No one spoke of what she DID. Everyone was just present to who she was as a human being. Generous, kind, loving, fun....
That's what people are left remembering,that is what is real in life. It's not what we do while we are alive...it's who we are being...alive with love..alove...

Love to you.
Zen Honeycutt

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