Showing posts with label mother's day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother's day. Show all posts

Sunday, May 8, 2011

"Just" a Mom




On Mother's Day I find it fitting to come out. As "Just" a Mom.
Yeah, Yeah. I know the connotation is one of condenscention. "Just" as if that is all there is, there is something better and I am "just" sitting in a lounge chair by the pool watching my kids lay on floaties, reading books like little angels,or like there is nothing else that I could be doing, I am good for nothing except being a mom, I am put out, tired, overwhelmed, so that's allI can handle... "Just" like people should feel sorry for me or something.

My ego wants to scream out...but I am not JUST a Mom! I have been a Mompreneur for almost six years, creating a gorgeous product line and company called "Zen's Purple Garden"!
I am a writer too, a wife and I am a trained artist and designer...

Yes. All past experiences. All things I did in the past that need not define my future. Every moment I have a choice. Every moment. I am choosing to be presnt with my kids.
Just because two people are married doens't mean the person has to come home to you at night, and you don't have to be there waiting for them. Every day is a choice, every moment is a choice.
So often I choose to do two or three things at once, be a Mompreneur of a company, start a Non Profit, raise two children, be pregnant and create a Green Earth Festival. SUPER Mom it. Somewhere in there my kids and husband hope for the crumbs of me that are left over.

We Moms do that, we multi task on some many levels that we forget where we started, what our intention was, or where we put our keys and then wonder why we are exhausted at three in the afternoon. We don't leave any room to JUST be a Mom.
To focus, to be present, to be a Mom and only a Mom, is such an empowering place to come from, such a generous gift to give our children, I choose JUST being a Mom and I am excited by the possibilities of what we are going to create.
Yes, I will continue to do Zen's Purple Garden when it works for our family, and eventually, when I cause completion with integrity, I will stop. I don't have a feeling of sorrow or failure about that. I am choosing a new focus.
I will continue to write as my creative self expression, and when I DO those things I will JUST do those things. And my writing is in complete alignment with my being a Mom, in fact my Just being a Mom inspires and feeds my writing. I may home school, which will be tremendously inspiring for us and my book. It's all one.

AND who I am being when I do those things and everything else, when I am listening to my child, helping them with their homework, reading to them, and yes occasionally, sitting by the pool...I am JUST a Mom. It is a distinctive shift. It's a big deal. I am not resisting what's happening and thinking that my time would be much better used doing some errand or selling or marketing. I am present, lit up with aliveness, inspired by their energy and love for the world,choosing them, being their Mom, listening, empowering, creating the life of our dreams even when it's not going the way we wanted it to, as Just a Mom, I am creating them to have the power and self expresssion to behave in a way that has them be proud of who they are in the face of any circumstance.

I am JUST their for them, wholly and completely, moment to moment. I am making a singular and complete choice. Empowering. Just. A. Mom.
There is freedom in choosing a singular focus. In fact a Buddhist monk said "The purpose of meditation is not to empty the mind, for nothingness, but a steadfastness of a singular focus."

Zen Honeycutt
www.zenspurplegarden.com

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Best Mother's Day Gift EVER



It's Mother's Day tomorrow.
I won't lie. The day is rife with expectations. In my good moments I am just at peace and grateful, loving my kids and husband and I am so glad they are alive.

Most of the time however, the Expectation Monster is clawing at my brain.
I deserve a FABULOUS Mother's day Gosh Darn it!
When my two sons spit, scream and yell, accusing each other of killing gold fish and threatening to kill any future pets, at the Dinner Table, oh Man!, I deserve a gold star the size of the house.

When I run six errands in a day, wipe toxic poo off a squirmy, resistant, butt two to three times a day, and then make meals for five, all without anyone getting sick or injured, oh Man! I deserve a spa vacation.

When I find rotten apples under the car seat, along with stinky socks, someone's lost R2D2 Lego and the missing library book, for God's Sake, I at least deserve a THANK YOU or a pretty diamond bracelet.

When my two year old bangs his metal sippy cup up and down on the coach and then WHACK nails my knee cap with it, oh MAN! I deserve a marching band!

And if you are a Mom, Don't YOU???

The thing is, that I get the reality is that I am probably going to get a handmade card, maybe one with yarn twisted into flowers or hearts that turn into butterflies. I might get little wooden bird houses that Daddy bought at Michael's Crafts and sat with the boys while I was grocery shopping and carefully instructed them how and where to paint it...until they started doing whatever they wanted and he said, what the heck, Go For it! and they did...
What I will probably get is Daddy making breakfast and the boys maybe helping him with the juice cup or a flower on the tray. What I will probably get is Daddy thinking about what would look pretty on the plate for me and the boys adding their extra special touch, all filing in together, all giving me kisses, all in their underwear, fuzzy messy hair, smiling their early morning puffy faced smiles.

What I will get is Daddy thinking like a Mommy for the day, taking care of all the little details,the dishes, the napkins and boys cooperating, and the boys thinking about what will make Mommy happy. More than any diamond or marching band, that will be the best gift of all, because when my husband GETS what attention to detail it takes, what fore planning, what patience and generosity it takes to Be a MOM, then I feel gotten, appreciated and loved.
And when my boys smile their smiles to make me happy, my heart rejoices in the gift they are to me, the best gift ever.

Happy Mother's day to you and your Mother. May your expectations go on vacation and you be present and peaceful with the people who love you so.

Zen Honeycutt
www.zenspurplegarden.com