Monday, January 28, 2013

How to Have Your Children Listen to You

Listening for "Are your words landing in your children's hearts?"

You can tell when they are right? Your children don't blink. Their breathing is imperceptible. They look straight into your eyes and absorb every word. There is nothing between you and them but connecting energy. The buzz in the room is palpable and you are present to only what you are creating...not yourself, not their wants, just the energy of great love.
Then maybe your child might start blinking a lot because they might cry. Or they may burst out with spontaneous hugs and kisses. They are so moved by your attention, your love and your caring, so moved by YOU being moved by your own experience of whatever you are sharing with your child, a learning lesson from the day or story from your past, that the two of you feel like one. You can tell. You didn't plan it. You were just present to love.

You cannot always tell when your words are NOT landing in their hearts, though...because some children listen and doodle and ARE moved.. Some are moved but their face wouldn't tell ya if they had won a shopping spree at a toy store. Some children wear the same expression throughout the day because they are determined not to crack...however they are is simply how they are. That's fine. And if you sense your words are not landing in their hearts, they are wandering off or starting to sing their own little song....all there is to do is to let go of any "make wrong" and get present to what is in your heart.
What Matters to YOU?
Share that. Share your own humanity and your children will relate.

Benjamin Zander, famous conductor and Landmark Grad responds to the question he was posed,
How do you know if you are touching the audience?
He said , "I look to see if their eyes are shining! If their eyes are shining I know I am doing my job."

What job could matter more than being a parent whose words land in another human being's heart and leaves them with their eyes shining?
Inspired parenting is an opportunity that we create. The future is ours to create with our children.
Be love and they will listen.

Zen Honeycutt
This distinction comes from a leadership class at The application into parenting is my own.

No comments:

Post a Comment