Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Light at the End of the Tunnel

I am washing the dishes, thinking about this, thinking about that...when the image of an article in Mothering magazine comes to mind. It was a reader's response to an article called "And Baby makes Four". She was talking about how hard it is to transition to two children from one. The lack of attention one gets, the sleepless nights.
I've been there, I get her.
And then she writes " but I know there is light at the end of the tunnel."
I have felt that too. I am so grateful she shared.

And then I think again.
What is the light at the end of the tunnel?
What is the tunnel?
Is the light at the end of the tunnel when they move out?
Is the dark tunnel this thing called parenting?
I know it's all semantics, but I get suddenly, like a dam opening up in my heart, that the light is NOW.

"The light" is not a someday phenomena.
Having children IS the light. Even when they are screaming. Especially when they are screaming. Thank God they can. Thank God they can express and breathe and belt out what they want.
I got very present to NOW. I was moved to tears while doing the dishes.

Since then, I have listened a little longer, kissed more often, smelled their hair more and cuddled them until they squirm away.
I know that things are not always the way we would like them to be, that we can not meet every child's needs at every moment...but something shifted in my heart and consciousness when I got that even then, all is perfect. They are alive and they are light.
And as my Mom might say, so am I. So are you.

Zen Honeycutt

This is a photo of the morning Bronson was born, at home, in the water, and greeted by his brothers after they woke. Better than Christmas.

No comments:

Post a Comment