Friday, December 14, 2012

5 Ways that Work in Parenting

Sometimes you want to park your kid on the curb with a sign that says "Free". Sometimes, even when tragic things happen to other people's kids, your kid still drives you crazy. You wonder why you can be so stressed out by your kid when you know that you should appreciate them even being alive. It's not easy. Or maybe it is.

How to Be Inspired by Your Children

1. Turn off the news.
Watching bad things happening in the world only makes you fearful and demanding of your children to behave a certain way so bad things won't happen to them.

2. Turn your attention on them.
They have all the magic and entertainment you need in one pinky finger. Focus on them and your world will suddenly be wonderful, promising, fun and delightful.

3. Turn off the voice in your head.
You know the one that says, "He shouldn't do that." or "She should know better." or "Why are they giving me such a hard time?"
The judgement of your children only put you in a place of angst. They are doing exactly what occurs to them as the best thing to do.

4. Turn on your listening.
Find out how their world occurs to them. Ask them, "Hey buddy, can you tell me what's up?" or "Sweetie can you tell me what you want? or "Wow, what's going on, how do you feel?" Just get in their world. The experience could be like slipping on their itchy footy pajamas or sitting in a mud puddle of their feelings. Just do it. Don't fix it. All they want is to be heard.

5. Play.
Create reasons to play with your kids. Make up games, make up ways to win, make up magical whimsical stories and ask them to join in. Play at breakfast, play at homework, play on car rides and when folding laundry. See them as an opportunity for fun and your whole world will expand with love.

Whenever your children are driving you to the brink of insanity, pick any one of these tips, no matter how opposite they seem to your automatic way of reacting, and try them out. When they feel heard and you are inspired by each other, they will listen and everything will work.

All children want is our attention. All we want is their attention so that life together works.
Give what you want.
Receive more than you ever imagined.
Be inspired by your children.

Zen Honeycutt

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