Elated

My nine year old son and husband assisted for the Young People's Landmark Forum this Friday through Sunday. What that means is they volunteered for three days for almost ten hours a day, to support and cause a course that empowers kids to be leaders in their lives. They may not want to lead others when they come out of the course, but they know what it means to be a leader for themselves in their own life. They are no longer victims of their parents or woe-be-gone because they have to live with their sister...they are no longer fearful of speaking up and expressing themselves or of listening to others. They leave reconnected with their siblings and parents and ready to be responsible in their lives.Whatever was their barrier between them and other people,and what they want in life, is gone.

And my son and husband provided that. Am I proud? Beyond. What matters most though is what they got out of it. I will never know fully what it was, but they do. My son came home Friday after one day of assisting when he was the Taskmaster for the adults and it was as if he had matured a year in a day. He seemed settled inside himself, not like settled like compromised but settled like all the hesitation and concerns that a nine year old might have about what other people think or his brother stealing his stuff or his parents bearing down on him...all those concerns seemed to have settled to the bottom of his being, and what was left was a clear Ben. A clarity and confidence and happiness that is just wonderful to be around....magnetic and joyful.

Being a contribution to other people is what lifts the human spirit beyond survival an into elation.
My son is elated.
Today he was eager to go back to school and to share his Healthy Happy Students voluntary report and presentation to his class. Even though he is in a combo class and half the class is a year older than he, he was confident. Even though he was doing a report that was not assigned, he was eager. Even though he was speaking in front of mostly a class he didn't know on the third day of school, he was proud. The circumstances didn't matter because he was coming from his commitment to make a difference in the world. He is passionate about helping others. This is not normal for a nine year old! Or maybe it is but we parents don't even consider it or encourage it. We assume school is a drag and kids don't really want to learn or do a report for no reason. We think other people will not want a report on how to eat healthy. But they did. He shared about GMO's, gluten/wheat, red food dyes, preservatives and how they can affect kid's health, moods and focus in class.
And the kids said "Wow!" and "OMG!"
The teacher said "That was beautiful! We can tell you are passionate about this!"
When she had to ask them repeatedly to put the flyer he gave out away, and invited them to share it with their parents, I teared up. He was making a difference with 35 families. He shook his head yes twenty times when I asked if he wanted to speak at another school. He is ready to share more. My heart couldn't have been happier for him. My son surprises and inspires me.

All I have to say is if you want your child to be empowered, BE empowered. Do the Landmark Forum. Support them to do it. Assist for it. They may not get what my son got, but they will get what matters to them. They will be able to express it with confidence. They will let go of their fears, contribute to others and light up the world with who they are being. Elated and lifting the spirits of others.
And deep in our hearts, that's all we really want for them.

Zen Honeycutt

Momma Drama

I am doing it again. Creating the Momma Drama.
First, inevitably, there is the discontent with something...mess, boredom, crankiness due to that time of the moneth...something. Lately it has been the neck pain for me and the hours of laying on the couch and watching TV commericals that just lie to us. Coca Cola, McDonald's and Cadbury as sponsors of the Olympics? If I didn't own the TV I would throw something at it. How stupid do they think American's are? Isn't sponsoring something supposed to mean you have some correlation, some connection of relatedness?
As a mother I am apalled that children anywhere, especially in my own home, might think that there is a connection between these diabetes-inducing-companies and the phenomenal athletes and their performance and I make sure to tell them. ARRRGGHH!
You can see the Momma Drama building here.


So at some point, in between complaining to my nothing-but-awesomely-patient-husband and snapping at my adorably affectionate child who just hugged me a little too hard and hurt my neck...I realized I have got to stop focusing on problems and sitting around stewing in my own head...as soon as I am better I am going to create something rather than sitting here reacting to the world around me.

So I created the possibility of being Love and Generosity. And I realized I didn't have to wait until I got better. I can be that anytime, anywhere. So I started to look into, what would be an expression of love and generosity that inspires me?

I found so many things. Number one, being with my kids in a loving way. Realizing that not being able to pick them up and hug them makes a difference for them, so last night I just sat and held my youngest for a long time and just let him sleep beside us and didn't get frustrated with him. Just loved him.

Then I saw that taking action in the other areas that really matter to me, educating the public about Genetically Modified Foods, how they are the cause of allergies and instigate inflammation in the body and rise in cancer...this matters to me. So I contacted the Label GMO's group and got opportunities to volunteer. The fiber of my being stands for healthy kids and people through REAL FOOD.
http://www.labelgmos.org/

Then, while reading an article about a Chinese woman who picked through garbage as a living and found abandoned babies and rescued them, 30 of them, I realized that there is more that we could be doing for the foster kids in our own back yard. Children feeling loved everywhere, this really matters to me.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2181017/Lou-Xiaoying-Story-Chinese-woman-saved-30-abandoned-babies-dumped-street-trash.html

And then there is the issue so close to my heart of women having choices, birth centers and access to midwives and doulas, healthcare that covers those services and the education to be able to choose them, Empowered Births, empowered women, peace and love during the first moments of life, this really matters to me.
http://www.facebook.com/EmpoweredBirth.PA

So I have many areas where I would be lit up and fulfilled to make a difference in, and then these opportunities open up, and I cannot be in four places at once. I begin to create more Momma Drama for myself, which one do I choose now? I can't do it all! Am I failing this guy if I don't volunteer today? Which one is more important? Are my kids going to be mad and scream if I go out for three hours? What if what I do doesn't really make a difference? Tension begins to hurt my neck again.
Maybe other people do this too...maybe this is why alot of people don't take on any volunteering at all...the fear of not being able to do enough...creating drama for ourselves which we use as an excuse to not take action.Or if we do, it doesn't go the way we think it should so we let our passion peter out.

See, when I take on a new project, the way it sometimes goes is that my husband and kids are the ones that suffer for it. I suffer too, tension etc, but I am so used to it I hardly notice it. They get the brunt of it. I get excited about something, doing something, making a difference, and that excitement turns into anxiety and angst about getting it done on time or doing it right. We are rushing out the door and I am barking at them and my husband wonders how the hell he got roped into doing something that is supposed to be fun and is turning out to be miserable. He is coming from that FUN, right now, should be the reason why we are doing all this....I am thinking that it is just the way it is that it is rushed and crazy now...fun is for later, during the event. I am living for someday, later, he is living in the moment, the now.

I can see this now, at the time I couldn't or wouldn't, and I am totally not committed to that craziness. I am committed to love and generosity and peace of mind too. For me, for my family and for everyone I connect with.

So in taking on being of service to others, I make a deal with myself. Create a plan, a structure, for how and when and how long. One thing a day. Could be 5 minutes, could be an hour. Have it work. Take a deep breath. Connect with your inner peace and let that out to shine. "Be the Change you want to see in the world" doesn't mean it you can't have any fun or peace in the mean time. On fact, being the fun and the peace, now, is the whole point.




Zen Honeycutt