Friday, May 18, 2012

Lasagna Waiting




This week my husband came home with news. A person on his team got a higher paying job and and is moving on. Just before a major deadline. Just before our vacation. My husband told me what was so...the project, the shortage of people, the importance to the division etc. He wasn't going to go with us.And as my heart sank and tears welled up, I got present to the way it could go. Either I could be mad and make him wrong for a lack of planning or whatever my brain could make up....or I could survive the situation and have others survive me...or I could create something.
In that moment I chose not to have my sons see my tears of loss... about the time spent with their Daddy. Instead I asked my husband to sit down and explain it to them and when I was presentable, I sat down and added that Daddy is doing this because he is committed to our family. I put honor and respect in. No make wrong. Even though every fiber of my being want to scream, cry, cajole or squash him like a bug...I didn't.
But I was still upset.

I knew that my upset was an unfullfilled expectation and resided with me. And I was still experiencing upset.
I called my accountability buddy on the way to my Breakthrough seminar and let it rip. She listened to every angry and self pitying thing I had to say and got it. By the time I got to my seminar I was actually present to wanting to cause a breakthrough for myself in not having things go my way, but being with the way they are and creating something new.
Of course, who do I happen to sit by, and listen to sharing from, is a father who talked about work and resisting it and housework an family life. It was perfect.
It dawned on me, and this will be obvious to you, but it wasn't to me at the time, I was just stewing in my resentment...10 months of planning, a wedding...thousands of dollars...the only time we see my family...our anniversary...etc...

Then I got it.
His point of view.

HE wants to go on this vacation. He wants to spend time with us. Of course he would prefer to go! AND he is taking a stand for providing for us and having integrity with his company. Suddenly I was at peace and present to honor and respect. I was present to the love I felt for him and how sad he must be to miss being with us.
I was present to him being a responsible adult and I gave up my upset.

I began to speculate ideas to create fun for him...having the kids make notes for Daddy and leave them around the house each day, video conferencing and having my sons take pictures and text them to Daddy. Thanking him each day for providing us with the vacation to see my family. Making it fun for him anyway and having him being acknowledged for the extraordinary human being that he is.
I put in acknowledgement that night and instead of ranting about coulda, woulda, shoulda, we talked about what is important to him.
The next day I made a lasagna for the first time in years and he came home to a house warm with delicious smells, waiting for him and grateful for him.

Life doesn't always go the way we want it. Being powerful or happy is not about NOT having breakdowns, it is about having love, acknowledgement and honor present and creating something in the face of breakdowns.

Zen Honeycutt

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

What I Know and Don’t Know about the Cause of My Sons’ Allergies





I don’t know if it was the induction. I was urged to be induced because he might be “too big” and he came out a skinny, wrinkly 6.8 oz baby covered in vernix. He was not ready. He could have grown stronger in the womb for a week more at least. He ended up being allergic to too many things to write here without losing your interest; a myriad of food, environmental and animal allergies.

I don’t know if it was the vaccines. I gave my son the slew of them. Everything recommended, even the one with five at a time. After that one he started getting random 24 hour fevers and rashes. He had a febrile seizure in the car that nearly had my husband crash the car from panic.

I don’t know if it is the environment. We have lived in homes with synthetic carpeting and synthetic flooring. House cleaners with toxins, plastic house wares with estrogens and cabinets with formaldehyde, so I hear, pressed into the wood that slowly leaks out and gives housewives a 60% increase in cancer. As there is in most homes, I am sure there is mold in our walls; I smell it when it rains. I am sure the electronic waves from the TV, microwave, cell phones and iPad are inundating our bodies with stress. Toxins, they say, weakens the immune system and could lead to increased allergies.

I don’t know if it is the effect of the food over time. We gave him food that was as healthy as we knew how. Soda and chips only at Nana’s or birthdays. No junk cereal. Once organic became more prevalent, we did that for berries and fruit and some veges. But we also gave him the processed breads, pastas and treats. We did. We gave him corn that we now know has pesticides engineered into the DNA. And now he, and my other sons have allergies to almost everything out there.

I don’t know if it is the effect of the GMO’s, it could be the preservatives. It could be the food dyes, high fructose corn syrup or the food fillers. But the overall reason for his many allergies might very well be the amount of acidic foods he eats, which thins the stomach lining and allows the food particles, whether they be GMO or not, to escape into the blood stream and cause the body to react and attack. The attack shows up as a rash on the body. But I do suspect all of the above, especially the foods.
.
Whatever the cause is of my son’s extensive allergies, I do know I am going to find out. I am going to keep trying. Because the future we now have is unacceptable. It need not be this way.

We cannot eat out at restaurants and going to parties is heart breaking. No cake, no pizza, no hot dogs,no ice cream. It’s a nightmare. My son wailed and cried that he would rather not go last time. I found it hard not to curse God. After he slips and eats a little gluten he is out of control emotionally. If he eats nuts by accident in Thanksgiving stuffing, we are sticking his thigh with an Epi pen, and as blood spurts from his leg, we dash to the hospital. At Cub Scout events we have to bring our own food and sequester ourselves. I have to hoard our food and protect it from the hands of other starving eight year olds. They wonder why he is different.We explain it all but still…he feels odd, fearful for his life and weak…sickly…an outcast. All he wants is to be strong.

Many kids feel like this and don’t KNOW that they have a food or ingredient allergy. One friend confided, after I told him about my son’s allergies and the children’s book I am writing about it, that his son would punch holes in walls and was furiously disturbed for years until they did a food elimination diet and slipped one day and gave him a strawberry ice cream from the ice cream truck. The Red Food Dye 40 was the cause. Once they found out he became a different kid, in a good way. And all along he had been given ADHD drugs, psychotherpay, punishments etc…there are children who want to focus at school but can’t. There are kids who feel depressed and don’t know why. There are divorces happening that need not. There are suicides and violence everyday that are in many cases, I believe linked to food and ingredient allergies….the question is do we have to just put up with it? Just survive it?

We do know… we miraculously did find out recently that the red painful and embarrassing rash around his mouth is a Carrageenan allergy. (in ice cream, hot dogs, sauces, dressing, lunchmeat and toothpaste.) We know about the gluten/wheat, nut, peanut, mushroom and my other son’s egg and dairy allergies as well as others…we know about those. What we don’t know is why.

We have a hunch about this acidic/alkaline theory and we are altering our lifestyle to eat alkaline. It wasn’t a usual pathway we took to get this possible answer. We went to an Iridologist, someone who reads the iris of your eye like a tree trunk. She could see I was anemic when I was seven. She could see that my mother has arthritis in her left knee even though she doesn’t limp. She could see that my son’s stomach was too acidic. She could see his Carrageenan allergy…something a western medical doc would take many months of painful blood tests to find out if they even tried. Mostly they would just prescribe a cream and tell him to stop licking his lips. As if it’s his fault.
This Iridologist was shared with me by a friend. I am forever grateful to her.I would never normally go to a doctor who looks at your EYE to diagnose me or my kids. That’s crazy woo woo. But I was desperate…and anything is possible. So I went along time ago and have gone back twice with my son. She told us all about acidity and alkaline foods and how we can balance our diet and heal his stomach. She gave us a pathway that we are trying, to eliminate allergies altogether. We don’t KNOW, but we will try it.

In the meantime, she told us that the red flare up around his mouth was a Carrageenan allergy (a what allergy??? a food thickener made of processed seaweed or moss) and I made the mistake of giving him organic chicken lunch meat with Carageenan in it and it flared up again, I researched it some more. I found out, that if left undiscovered, if we just slapped a cream on it or shot him up with a steroid or make him drowsy with allergy medication…if we just accepted that this is the way it is, got resigned and doubtful about it…the Carageenan allergy would create ulcers in his stomach and eventually cause cancer. My son.

Other kids might have a different allergy and their parents are struggling with behavior issues, creams, steroids and meds too. They may be resigned too. They may now know…not only what is causing the behavioral or allergic reaction, but they don’t know that this is life or death. And they don’t know that they don’t know.

I wish to empower parents and children to find out for themselves. Try alternative health care. Try Holistic, Naturopaths, Iridologist, Reiki and Energy healers, Try Chinese herbalists. Find what works for you. Don’t just go to a doctor who says take this medication…for the rest of your life....don't let acceptance actually become resignation. Wonder and try! Share with your friends what you learn from alternative, integrative and holistic healthcare. You may just be inspiring someone and saving a life.

Zen Honeycutt
Mom of three boys, 9, 7 and 3

Thursday, April 26, 2012

One Inspiring Mom Takes on Foreign Invaders in our Food





I am weeping tears of relatedness, inspiration, disbelief, sadness and frustration. I am watching Robyn O'Brien's Ted talk on California's Right to Know.
After her baby's allergic reaction, she learned that a food allergy is the body responding to food as a foreign invader. So she asked "Is there something foreign in our food?". Her talk answers this question.
Watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rixyrCNVVGA

Pass it on.
Share it with everyone.
It is "the most patriotic thing we can do".

The facts are that between 1997 and 2002, just 5 years, peanut allergies have increased by 2X.
Our food is genetically modified with synthetic proteins that our bodies see as foreign invaders.
We get allergic reactions, sickness and cancer.
We have the highest cancer rates in the world. 1-2 men are expected to get cancer. 1-3 women are expected to get cancer. 90% of breast cancer is from environmental causes. Only 1% is genetic.
If you move here from another country you increase your chance of getting cancer by 4X.
Companies spend 60% of their profits on health care.
There has been a 265% increase in the rate of ER hospitalization by doctors (not parents) of children with severe allergy reactions to FOOD.
FOOD!
Food that is on the shelves of our grocery stores, that the FDA said is safe, that our government says is safe even though the rest of the world says no.

The food we eat is NOT allowed in Europe and other countries. And this big food companies change the formulas so that they can sell there.
If they do that for them, why not do it for us? Because we allow it.


Robyn did not just ask a good question and find the answers...she shared the answers and took action to make a difference. I am so inspired into action, more action to have USA food, and our children, be safe.
One person can make a difference!
Eat organic, whole foods as much as possible.
Be relentless about not supporting toxic food.
Contact the White House now.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments


And take action in your home:
http://www.robynobrien.com/do-onething.html

Thank you for reading and for being an active American in healthy food for all.
Zen Honeycutt
P.S. I am completing my book about a boy who takes on his allergies. Finding her talk just put the fire in my belly to get it published ASAP!!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

STOPPED




I cheer as we drive by a telephone pole plastered with KONY 2012 posters. My kids wonder why I am cheering and I tell them,"There is a very sick man who captures children in Africa and makes them go to war. The posters I just saw were put up last night by people who want him to stop. They want the government to know it's not okay. Children should be taken care of. Mommy put up posters last night too."
Ben smiled a very fulfilled looking smile. "Thank you Mom."

"Mom, I can get the bad guy, " Bronson declared. "I can."

"That's great Bronson. That's the point of these posters, if one of us does something, and then one more...we can stop him."

"I can stop him because I am good at fighting," he added with gusto. A three year old. What imagination.
I am inspired by how brave and confident he is. He can stop him.

It occured to me then, that a lot of people at one point, that week that the KONY video was circulated, A LOT of people believed we could stop him. We were all inspired. We were passionate, ready to take action, and sharing with everyone. April 20 seemed so far away to wait to take action. We wanted him stopped now! 100 million people around the world saw and shared the video. The most viral video ever.

Then the news hit of the founder of Invisible Children having a breakdown, running naked in the streets. It was devastating to the movement. It was devastating to me. There was an unspoken embarrassment for so fervently promoting anything related to a man who can't keep his clothes on. People found all kinds of reasons to make him bad, immoral and wrong. I even debated heatedly with a Facebook friend. It deeply disturbed me how wrong this person made Jason Russell and how it all seemed a cop out for actually participating in causing a global movement. I was sad for days. Not just for the children, but for humanity.

I got today that the great disappointment many of us felt, the betrayal of the founder action's, the fizzling of the movement, was actually a breakdown in our commitment to have leaders with integrity.
What we want, as a people, is leaders with integrity. That is great. That is inspiring! That is a good thing to be committed to. Sometimes there will be breakdowns. President's will have affairs, congressman will lie, activists will get drunk and act out. So what?

The question is, will that stop US from taking action on the areas of our society that we are committed to?
What I realized, last night as I went out with posters in hand, by myself, was that I wasn't promoting Jason Russell. I was taking a stand for children.
Children being cared for, fed and safe is a commitment that is universal. No matter what you think about Invisible Children, what KONY is doing is worth doing something about stopping him. Every single person in the world that heard about KONY, deep inside, wanted to do something last night.
Some did. Some didn't. Some were stopped. So what?

Whatever you did, and it doesn't have to be putting up posters, how can you expressed what you are committed to?
How can you let the government know that children deserve, no matter where they are born, to be cared for?


Zen Honeycutt




Thursday, April 12, 2012

Extreme Food Allergies


If you are reading this you know someone with allergies. Everyone does now. Either it's you or a family member or both. Weird allergies too,like being allergic to cantalope or yeast. I know people who are allergic to almost everything, and others who are allergic to one thing, food preservatives or dyes, that is in almost everything. There are the really challenging ones like gluten/wheat, dairy and eggs. Our family has all three, plus the life threatening nut allergy. Eating can occur like a whole lot of No's to us, especially at a party or in the grocery store...just a sea of food we don't eat.

Recently we took Ben to an iridoligist (reading the health of the body through the iris) and found out carrageenan is now in the mix of no's. Carrageenan is a food thickener and it's in almost all the good stuff. Our son gets a red stain around his mouth and swollen painful red lips for a week..it's embarrassing for him and is affecting his self expression. Until now we didn't know why...but it's looking confronting...

Want to go to the park and enjoy an ice cream after ward? Opps, can't son. You are allergic.
Want to have a chocolate milk at your friend's house? Nope sorry.
Dressing on your salad at a restaurant seem harmless? No way.
Pepperoni on that pizza or lunch meat in your sandwich? No gonna happen.
Dip on that Chip? Whip Cream on that pie? Forget it.



Geeesh! I could just cry. It is so challenging to police every food. Plus, the iridologist could see immediately that the cause of all the allergies is that my eldest son's stomach is too acidic (and probably the others, considering they all have allergies). That means that 80% of his foods should be from an alkaline list, a list which makes no sense to me at all. There is no obvious reasoning to it. Blueberries are acidic but raspberries are alkaline. What? Lemons are Alkaline forming? HUH? I printed out 12 pages of food to meal plan with. Days of just throwing something together and the kids being happy with fries and chicken are over.


That's a good thing though, really. It's that laziness that got us into this situation in the first place. Giving them oatmeal for breakfast (highly acidic and can cause cavities), lunch meat sandwich, corn chips (and carrots which mostly come back uneaten) for lunch and a hot dog and fries for dinner and being okay with them taking one mouthful of peas to represent the greens, is what causes high acidity in people in the first place. Highly acidic people have immune disorders, multiple allergies, get sick a lot, are fatigued and have a slew of symptoms that you can check here:

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/are-you-too-acidic-symptoms.html

and here

http://www.balance-ph-diet.com/acidosis_symptom.html

Some say it is the base cause for cancer. Others say it is the cause for all sickness and disease...disease is dis ease...the body out of balance, too acidic.
Under stress, acidic conditions cause the stomach (our first line of defense) goes on attack against more and more foods, most likely the ones that it is most exposed to...therefore making switching the diet extra challenging. Sometimes it even occurs that we crave that food, some kids who crave milk are actually allergic to it, but the body is under stress and relates surviving with the milk even though it is attributed with the stress. Ugh. I know.
So how do we take the stress out of surviving food today?
How can we come from a place of inspired eating?

As a parent it is up to me to create with my son. Today it is going to look like a high lighter and the twelve pages of foods. I will ask him to high lite his top twenty alkaline foods and his top ten acidic foods. He can still have the acidic ones in small amounts (less than 20%) but it will still be a big shift. When I think about a normal plate, 90% of the foods used to be acidic. Beef tacos with corn shell, rice, beans...all acidic. The smattering of shredded lettuce accounted for maybe 2% of the meal. Yikes.

Then I will meal plan with what we have and shop for the rest. An adjustment to our food budget will need to be made, and negotiations with the kids about not going to Del Taco and Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream will definitely need to be creative. Watermelon, highly alkaline, is going to be a daily food here.

See it can be managed, and...it can even be inspired. When I stop pulling my hair out I can see that this is actually the opportunity to shift the current and future health of my entire family for their life time. By being present. By creating!

"How you do anything is how you do everything." -T. Harv Eker



How we eat is how we live life. By being present to what we eat, planning, making food fun, and getting their palates used to fruit and greens as the main portion of the dish, they will be healthier in their twenties and thirties and beyond. We will all be more present to life, to what matters to us...and live a created life.
What if we made faces with the fruit and grew more food? What if we visited farms weekly and the kids picked out their favorite veges? What if they made up their own salad recipes?

It inspires me to think of what food choices they will make later in life by being aware of and responsible for their own alkaline and acidic levels. Rather than food tempting them and them succumbing to it repeatedly and having guilt and sickness afterwards, they are going to be masters of food, masters of their life. The future is then one of empowerment for them, for us.
It is my honor to lead them in mastery.

List of alkaline and acidic foods:

http://www.rense.com/1.mpicons/acidalka.htm

Foods with Carrageenan:
Ice Cream (except for Breyers)
Sour Cream (except for Daisy)
Cottage Cheese (except for Old Home)
Flavored Coffee Creamers
Chocolate Milk
Soy Milk
Redi-Whip
Pudding
Light Mayo & Mayonnaise
Salad Dressings
Slim Fast Shakes
Chicken (ex: pre-cooked chicken to put on salads, rotisserie chicken from the grocery deli, etc.)
Sandwich meat
Frozen entrees (ex: any entree with chicken, also random meals like Lean Cuisine's pumpkin squash ravioli).
Buitoni pastas
Chip and Veggie Dips (ex: french onion, dill dip, spinach dip, etc.)

And the adventure continues. What do you do to make life fun and inspiring even with food allergies?
Love and Joy to all,
Zen

Friday, April 6, 2012

It's Showtime!


Five auditions in one week. That's alot of driving through Orange County to LA. Everyday after school we packed up the car with snacks, a pee jar just in case (gotta be prepared in traffic!), DSI games, grabbed the headshots and resume. His little brother comes with and naps or watches a movie. Bodee prepares in the car. I am a showbiz Mom.
Which doesn't mean anything except I drive my son to auditions just as a soccer Mom would. I encourage him with smiles before he walks into the audition and I high five him on his way out. The experience can be daunting sometimes, however, it's not for the lazy.

First, there is the last minute emails and calls from his agent, hardly ever even a twenty four hour notice.It takes some finagling to clear the calendar for four hours to get to and from an audition in LA and still have everything in life handled. Yes, I will take a Super Mom tee shirt, thank you very much. Sometimes it means taking Bodee out of school an hour early...not so super you may think. Good thing he is an A student.
Then there is the drive up, almost two hours in traffic, and the way home is a guarantee of a stop and go sea of red tail lights. Finding parking, I feel like a turkey buzzard looking for scraps. I circle around a few times, swoop in and pray to the parking gods that I won't get towed for parking in the grocery store lot or bless the world when I find metered parking less than three blocks away. Bodee skips and runs along the cracked sidewalks of LA to the casting lounge, excited to get there. At the audition the room is packed with bodies of curious children and tired parents. The kids play their DSI's or lean over and talk about their games together. There is always the boy with the afro, the cute blond, the stocky boy, maybe even a redhead. They are all cute, but of course, I think none cuter than mine.

There are usually several auditions going on and gaggles of gorgeous girls and shockingly sharp and good looking men rehearse their lines. Real characters dressed in bike messenger outfits and sweating in cowboy chaps, lean against walls and shift back and forth impatiently. I could be impatient too. I could be annoyed by the traffic or the way the casting assistants yell out names. I could criticize and make life miserable for my son. But I don't. Because I am inspired by his gumption. I am inspired by his willingness to be up for anything. I am inspired that when asked by a recruiter if he wanted to be on TV or movies, he said YES and followed through with acting classes.

Rather than survive it, I create that it is exciting with him, we play rock paper scissors or try to guess what the improv lines might be. We talk about giving it 100% and his face lights up. Bodee is one cute face of many and we have no idea what they are looking for. Will this be the one?
Then his name is being called...usually within a few minutes...and he is walking up to the door along with three other boys. They line up, the door opens and they walk inside a room. I never see who is in the room, and my Mommy Tiger instincts really had to give up a lot to get over that one. I hear the boys shouting their lines through the door, usually they are just playing, and then within a few minutes he is out again, smiling and satisfied. "I did 100% Mom!" he says.

One time, he went into the room for directions with only adults. It was a pizza commercial and he was the only child at that time of the call. There was Bodee, surrounded by towering adults, confident and ready to go. I was amazed by my son. It takes courage to do that, to generate with strangers in a moments notice, to put yourself under scrutiny and to "turn it on" and go with the flow of directions from a complete stranger from second to second. He doesn't ask about the jobs later, whether he got them or not, he is too busy playing and doing what he is doing in the moment. There is no disappointment or regret. He just lives in the moment and enjoys it.

I would love for Bodee to have success in all his endeavors....and I know he might not. He has booked two commercials in the past year, but there are no guarantees for the future. I don't know if he will ever book anything, ever again. What I do know, is that he is successful in being courageous. He is successful in being creative and energetic. He is fulfilled by having confidence and determination. He is the kind of person, that when they say "It's Showtime!", he steps through his fear and into being an expression of himself.
He inspires me.

Zen Honeycutt

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Alove...I mean, Alive with love


This Valentine's Day has me particularly present to love and life.
This weekend I flew from CA to CT for my brother and fiance's Jack and Jill fundraiser Valentine's party...a chocolate lover's dream, black and red theme, glowingly creative party in the art gallery space ( with their art on the walls) my brother Tao and his fiancee Amy live in with about 80 other artists. My brother is the main facilitator of the gallery shows and has contributed back thousands of man hours to making Hartford an artistic and vibrant place to live. Amy has made people dreams come true through marketing and art and is now creating holistic wellness by being a nutritional coach and facilitator of group wellness retreats. They deserved a helluva party for all they have done and I was honored to celebrate their love and community contributions by throwing them a shindig. Then a few weeks before the actual event they surprised me and the DJ and officiant by telling us it was turning into a surprise wedding! What a hard secret to keep!
The night of the event was magical. Half way through the party, Tao and Amy surprised everyone with a beautiful wedding and moving vows. Afterwards,I danced with their friends, many I had never met, as if we were longtime best friends. People donated creative works of art and donated generously towards Tao and Amy's new life together. We ate chocolate and toasted them with love and well wishes that had people laughing,weeping and aghast with love and surprise.
I realized later, as my brain is wont to do, look back and think I should have said this or that, that I forgot to acknowledge my brother and Amy for all they have done. I forgot to say what they did to deserve all this celebration...however what everyone was present to is just who they ARE...love, creativity, fun, generous, spontaneous, courageous, caring and a contribution to so many. We were celebrating who they are being, not what they have done. I can be with that.

Then, with virtually no sleep, my brain was alive with love and buzzing, I got up before dawn and flew to CA for a wake and funeral for my beloved Nana that night.
I got that Life is short. We make is sweet. Or not. I choose sweet. Tao and Amy chose sweet. Everyone who attended and donated, despite threats of black ice and perhaps financial considerations, they all made it sweet.



My Nana, and my husband's amazing grandmother, a lovely, generous, sassy and kind lady made life sweet through loving her friends and families unconditionally. She never met a stranger. She had neighborhood children live with her when needed. She hosted parties, listened to my husbands endless stories as a child, created weekend adventures. She loved me fully, despite not being Latino or Catholic, she loved me simply because I loved/love her grandson Todd. She was a true lady.

I realized during the ceremony that no one spoke of how she was a secretary for an office, no one spoke of her job, or raising her child, the laundry or dishes etc. No one spoke of what she DID. Everyone was just present to who she was as a human being. Generous, kind, loving, fun....
That's what people are left remembering,that is what is real in life. It's not what we do while we are alive...it's who we are being...alive with love..alove...

Love to you.
Zen Honeycutt