Thursday, July 5, 2012

Something Special

I hope every parent believes there is something special about their kids, something magical, magnetic and marvelous.
I do.

Ben, my nine year old….I dreamed of him inutero as a laughing blue starfish. He was happy and as soon as he could laugh his laugh filled up the room and your heart with joy and healed you of all worry. He loves the ocean and once said “Mommy did you know that the ocean is where angels go for the birthday parties?”

At four months old, just when the erratic sleep patterns and frequent breastfeeding seemed to drive me to the edge of insanity, I had a dream. He lay in his co sleeper, looked up at me and said without moving his lips, “Thank you Mom, I love you.” It was Mother’s Day when I awoke and he had let me sleep for eight hours straight for the first time.

When the new baby sitter didn’t show up, I mumbled about maybe I could call one of the other ones that responded, and he said “Don’t worry Mom, Minnie will come.” I looked at the list. The last person on the list was Minnie. I had never said her name. I called her and she came and she watched my kids, sometimes insisting not to be paid because she loved them so much, for years. We adore her still.

Ben draws with an imagination that delights. He creates intricate, colorful and bold patterns and adventures with meaning and fun story lines. He won the Art Masters show for two years in a row.

One morning I was concentrating very hard about my upcoming day, selling my natural wellness products, and creating in my head that it would be a “thousand dollar day”. Suddenly at that same moment, Ben shouted from another room, “ One thousand dollars!” I thought I was dreaming…” What did you say Ben?” I called out. He repeated it. I asked why he said that and he said “ I don’t know , it just popped into my head!” I sold a thousand dollars worth that day. He is a very intuitive, compassionate, special and artistic boy.

Bodee, my seven year old…I met before I even had children, when I was in Hawaii, I went to sleep one night and my husband and I had asked the universe if we should have children and we would sleep on it. I had a dream. A boy with black curly hair and beautiful brown eyes looked at me. I heard “ Let me be.” I woke and knew I would have children. The boy was Bodee.

Bodee has a memory that astounds me. He is my GPS. Since he was barely three he would point in the right direction to go to a friend’s house or to find our car in the parking lot. I can depend on him.

Anything he tries, roller blading, drumming, skate boarding, chess, piano, Bodee is good at it immediately. He learned the theme song chorus to several movies like Iron Man, Indiana Jones and Star Wars simply from his father showing him for a few minutes. He loves to learn, to win and to be challenged.

He has something special in front of a film camera too. As an actor, he knows how to turn “it” on. His smile lights up the screen and he delivers what the director wants the first or second time. He is a good sport on the set and is up for anything. He is a very smart, silly and special boy.

Bronson, my three year old…to meet him is to love him. And I am not just biased. Women and girls fawn when they see him. They coo and giggle and pick him up and only let go if they have to. They swing and drag him around like rag doll, patting his head and loving him with all their hearts.

He just KNOWS too…he will bring me a flower when I am sad, and a toy to his brother when he is mad. The other day a worker at my brother’s retreat center was furious at a broken tool and yelled with all his might. Bronson brought him a rock without a word. The worker looked at it and threw it with a yell as hard as he could in the nearby pond. They watched the rock splash in silence and then Bronson said “Now do you fweel bedda?”
“Yeah. I do.” The guy replied. They looked at eachother, breathing, settling, knowing…and then looked back at the pond.

Bronson will not very frequently, do something messy like squeeze out the entire tube of toothpaste into the sink. When I discover it, he will look at me doe eyed. When I tell him that he can’t do that, he looks at me and voluntarily says, “I promise to never ever do that again.” And he doesn’t.Ever. He knows and he means what he says.

When he was 18 months he made a cheerio and fruit loop pattern bracelet for me. When his Mommy and Me teacher saw it, she asked me, “Did you help him?” I hadn’t noticed it, “No.”
“Ohhhhh, good luck with him.” She said with her eyebrows raised…it was a cheerio, fruit loop, fruit loop pattern, A, B,B,A,B,B,A,B,B,A and on…intentionally a consistent pattern…who knows what his talents will be?

Bronson can talk and share imaginative stories beyond his years. He loves to share intricate details of his dreams, his musings and of his imaginary day. He is self expressed and free. He is connected to others and delights in people, hugging during his story telling. Bronson is a very special being of self expression and love. All my children are.

My wish is that every parent take a moment to write down what is special about their children. Upload it “in the cloud” online, so it is always there. Start an email account for them and email it to them. Write an old fashioned letter and put in in a box of memories for them. Tell them before they go to bed.Because we never know if we have another day. Each day is a gift with our children. Someday they will be grown and out of the house and we will miss that something special about them that gave sweetness and love, charm and glory, and zip and vigor to our day.

Zen Honeycutt

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