Friday, July 27, 2012

The Gateway to Adventure

Last summer I was on survival mode. I planned camp for the kids for every other week and got panicky when I had a whole week ahead of me with them. What to do every day and how will I get them to either stop watching TV or stop fighting?
But it wasn't just that. I had fear. Fear that if they didn't stop watching TV ie: listen to me...or fighting, that I would yell at them and my yelling, my out of control anger would mess them up. My real fear about a whole summer with the kids was not about them. I love them. It was about me being with them... I was afraid that I would somehow mess my kids up.Forever.

I saw this summer that that was not empowering, totally inauthentic to who I am, and just NOT FUN.

So I created something new. Who I am is the possibility of Love,Generosity and Amazing Adventures! Really, who I am is the Gateway to ADVENTURE!

Inside of that, summer is so fun! And surprising! And spontaneous! I have a theme for everyday of the week, Magical Musical Monday, Terrific Scientific Tuesday, Wonderful Nature Wednesday, "My Surprise!" Thursday and Artsy Fartsy Friday. Yes we have our adventures in laziness too, but each day I create a new activity with whatever supplies we have, according to the theme, the kids look forward to it and I do to.
We have been camping in bear country and crabbin' in Connecticut. We have been to caves and mountains and seas...and I have been their sole caretaker for a month straight, 24, 7. I have taught them to cut fish heads and they have learned to ride bikes. One has claimed archery as his sport and the other wakes me up playing the Indiana Jones theme song on the piano. How's THAT for adventure! They have fought muddy, water sponge fort wars and sawed and hammered wooden catapults. They have sung silly songs around campfire, made new friends and swam with old ones. They have had a lifetime of adventure in a month and it's not stopping.
These things would not have been possible, sharing these adventures together, if I was still being the fearful and surviving the summer.

They only went to camp for one full week this summer (the camp they WANTED to go to), and I went with them and volunteered and had amazing adventures with them. The two older boys went with Daddy for a long Cub Scout weekend and I had alone time with Bronson. No "break from the boys". But it doesn't occur to me that I "need" one. I am not surviving my boys. I am so present, when we are hiking together, or learning why we burp or playing "Will it freeze?" that I GET TO be home with them and create adventures with them. It is my honor and privilege. It is a sacred gift of time. Even when they are screaming at each other, although it sometimes feels unbearable, I GET to be the one to have them sort it out. I GET to be the one to be with them and their feelings, good or bad.

Sure, I take time to write while they play legos I love my time of peace and alone time too, I am not attached at the hip with them constantly. But my life is free now, either way, not a burden. My sleep is deep and restorative. The gratitude I have for my husband providing this life for us and out partnership, is unlike I have ever imagined. It is deep and energizing. My days are filled with adventures with the boys and I cherish each day. I also feel proud of who I am as a Mom. Inside of being the Gateway to Adventure, there is no way I can mess them up. Messes will happen, sure, but they are their own adventurers, on their own path and I am just the gateway. It's their life. I don't always get the dishes done right away and sometimes I still holler for them to put their shoes on, but it's all inside of an adventure called a CREATED life, that we get to share, on our way, each day together.

Wishing you many free and wondrous adventures!

Zen Honeycutt

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