Party Post Partum

You may relate to having friends who throw the best kids birthday party ever. Or maybe you are that friend. Our friends are over the top awesome at parties. They plan and hand paint decortions a month a ahead of time. Super Hero backdrops for the kids to pose in front of, a station of six games the kids get to play, all Superhero related, and win tickets which they later get to redeem for prizes and balloons that they bent and twisted into swords and super long weanie dogs themselves. Of course, the home made cake looks like it was rolled out of "Cake Boss" too. Layers of fondant and four tiers (even bigger than the picture shown), each decorated with the colors and design of the costume of five different Super Heros from Avengers, with the hulk hand bursting out of the top layer. Amazing!
Did I mention the parents both work and the mother is a lawyer who works nearly 80 hours a week sometimes?
How they do it is beyond me. Their parties are awesome.
So we always go.

The problem is, when we get there, although Ben and I, with the most allergies, are super careful and only eat what works for us, I cave and let Bodee and Bronson eat pretty much whatever they want. They don't have the severity of allergies we do, so I think, "It's only this one time" or " A little bit will be okay." and they eat the pizza (gluten) and candy (GMOs)and cake( food coloring, gluten and GMOs). Ben and I sit and watch the Incredibles movie they have playing while everyone else eats cake. It's too tempting to watch them. Cake is my downfall. But this time anyway, I stay strong for myself. For the two younger ones, I honestly just did not want the screeching and crying, stomping and flailing to spoil the party. So I let them eat the "treats".

And boy do we pay for it later. I want to be clear here, it's not my friend's fault. This is every party we go to. I let my kids eat stuff I know doesn't really work for them. I caved. And the results were what they were, not bad or wrong, just really really annoying.

Bodee was on permanent grouch mode for the rest of the night and well into the next day. He stomped, yelled, slammed doors and gave us mean ogre faces at the dinner table. I almost laughed at him one time because he was staring at me like a one eyed pirate so hard I thought his one eye might pop out. I told him so and then he was screaming at me for laughing at him. His veins popped out and his face turned pink with aggression. It occurred to me that when my friends were kids, they might have gotten slapped upside the head for talking to their parents like that.

Bronson was a screech monster from hell. He cried every time his brother looked at him and he screeched holy hell when I asked him to pick up his toys. Everything was "I don't love you anymore Momma", which is a really big deal for him to say, and "I hate you" to everyone else. I lived each moment in regret every time I raised my voice to tell them to stop fighting and be quiet. I was not inspired. I was annoyed, upset, regretful and mad at them for not controlling themselves.

I kept trying to remind myself of a saying I saw on Facebook written over the face of a miserable looking child "I am not giving you a hard time, I am having a hard time." I got it. They are having a hard time. Well, I am having a hard time with them having a hard time. My husband is ready to blow a gasket and yells "Just make him STOP!" He hollers that he is leaving the house to go work at Starbucks, but after a shower to simmer him down, he puts a movie on for the kids and all seems to settle.

I realize that it's not worth it. Not going to the party, but letting them eat stuff that just doesn't work for them. Bronson's stomach gets a bloated and rashy and Bodee gets dark circles under his eyes and they both look miserable. They don't want to behave this way, they feel like they can't control themselves, I know. I feel like that sometimes too when I have eaten tons of sugary, food dyed, GMO foods. I feel like I am on one of those rides at a carnival that spins really fast and I am screaming and later vomiting profanities uncontrollably. It's Party Post Partum. The body is out of wack from all the chemicals and crashes into the abysss of feeling bad, fits and tantrums.

Sometimes it takes uninspired moments to create inspiration. What I am getting from this experience is a possibility for coming together like a band of B Boys before we go to parties. Bringing our own food and agreeing that after the party we get to all do something super fun as a family together if we all eat our own food instead. We have an After Party! We celebrate our self control, reward our restricted diet, with GMO free, gluten free, food dye free and preservative free abundance of food. It's not that hard either. I make extra gluten free, GMO free pizza and cupcakes and freeze them in the freezer, ready for the next party. I bring some food dye free lollipops from Trader Joe's and GMO free candy in case all the other kids get goody bags with candy it them so I can swap it out. My kids can eat the fruit and popcorn and drink the juice (as long as it doesn't contain corn syrup) and play all the games til their hearts content.

I could just not RSVP to parties and stay home and avoid the mayhem. I can see though, that there would be a real loss in bonding, fun and celebration of our friends. So the "inspired parenting" challenge for me transforms the situation from one of regret to a possible opportunity to really have it all...go to parties and all do what works for us and be our own Super Heros. Sometimes, saying "No" is actually saying "YES" and is the most heroic thing to do.

Zen Honeycuttt

The Channeling of Outrage

I want to scream it from the mountain tops. I want to grab my neighbors and shake them. I want to take my friends by the hand, haul them to my coach, sit them down and tell them to not move until they watch "Genetic Roulette" or "The World According toMonsanto" Or Robyn O'Brien's Ted talk and force them to learn what I have learned about the shocking status of our food. But I can't. Well, I could but I would be branded a looney and avoided at all costs. People wouldn't even want to look at me, never mind listen to a suggestion on how to spend 84 minutes of their time.

So I stew in frustration and boil with belligerence. I even get mad at everyone. God Dang 'em ALL! I think. Someone looks at me with resentful disbelief, gets red in the face when I try to convince them to watch the movie, and the little angry voice in my head sputters. "Fine. don't learn. Eat junk and die." Seriously. Maybe if you are that stubborn and want to be that stupid you deserve not to have your genes passed on. Yeah, that's right, rats who ate GMOs were sterile by the third generation. If you don't wanna know now, well, you'll find out later. May take a few generations, but you will. In the mean time, don't come crying to me when you have cancer.

I know.Terrible. But I am just outraged. I am outraged that there are toxins in 70% of our food, that explode the stomachs of bugs when they eat the corn, that doctors say are slowly erroding our stomachs, causing leaky gut, inflammation and possibly stomach ulcers, cancer autism and alzheimer. Tests have shown animals that eat GMOs get tumors and become infertile/sterile! And babies are drinking these foods in their formula! Why have infant mortality rates doubled and tripled in just six years from 1996-2002 in California since GMO soy was put in formula? Are they linked? Kids are eating these foods in schools! Hospitals are serving this food to patients on the brink of death! Outrageous!
I am also outraged by the avoidance of people and organizations that aren't motivated to find out about what is in their food. I am outraged by the hold convenience has on our society. Everyone wants, easy, cheap, fast and tasty, no matter what the cost. People don't want to know because it's hard! I could just scream and punch convenience in the face. But this I really can't do, because it's a concept.

What I can do, is do something about it. When I first found out that genetically modified foods are the reason for all my kids allergies and the stress and strife around food and health, I swore to do one thing a day. Now after sharing with thousands, handing out flyers, sharing the movie and speaking with school principals and doctors about it, I find I am compelled to do far more than one thing. It has become my driving passion to be a part of freeing Americans from the toxins in our food. I know not everyone will take this on, but I am. I can start with my community.

So before Thanksgiving break I asked my preschool director if I could help the school go GMO free and organic. She had watched Genetic Roulette. We knew that what kids eat during preschool years directly correlates with whether or not they get cancer as adults. She gave me her budget and agreed. I hoped I wasn't being naive. I went to Sprouts and Trader Joe's and bought several options of organic snack crackers and priced out organic apples, oranges, bananas and pears. I made a spread sheet pairing one snack cracker and one fruit, figured out how many of each was needed. After moving some selections around and created a plan that was UNDER Budget. There it was. Organic, GMO Free and easy to do.

THIS could make a difference. A lot bigger difference than screaming my head of and getting mad. So I emailed out to over 100 Moms and offered it to thousands on Facebook. The response was great and I got that offering solutions rather than problems is always way more effective.

My anger disappeared and what is left is total gratitude for the partnership with Mrs. Lukes, the committed preschool director who was willing to watch "Genetic Roulette" in the first place. Her willingness inspired me to hep many more schools.I am grateful for her daughter, a Mom and nurse who inspires her to eat more organic. I am grateful for Moms everywhere, doing whatever they can to take care of their kids. I also get that I have been dealing with my kids life threatening allergies for nine years and finally just found out about all this. Maybe I could grant some space to people for whom food doesn't seem to be a problem, and enjoy them, where ever they are in their path. It may not always be easy, I may need to belt out a holler now and then, or maybe just cry. But each day that I take an action to share, serve others and savor the preciousness of life, I have fulfillment that brings peace no matter what.
Thank you very much to everyone who has read my posts, shared with your friends, chosen organic, and faced the inconvenience of food with a new found courage and commitment to health. I love your willingness and I am inspired by what we can do together!

Zen Honeycutt

The Power of We

It was just not working. I felt defeated, worn out, stressed out and put out. I was resentful and regretful. I wanted out. Out of being a den Mom to 10 rambunctious boys.
We all have areas of our life that don't work.
I have a couple of them. I have many that do work, I love my husband, kids, home, life etc....
but there are a few areas that just seem to repeatedly suck and I will admit that. Because I have learned that only when I am able to admit it, does something begin to change. If I hide it like a neat little package with poo inside, then no one can see it, including me, and it gets ignored. No one, including me, cleans it up.

So I admitted it. I had a meeting with the parents of my den and laid it out there. If it kept going like this I was probably going to quit or or dismiss some boys, not like a threat, but just because it was so unmanageable.I let them know I am totally committed.....it just wasn't working this way, it couldn't go on. And I knew they would wonder...well what the heck are YOU doing that has them being so unruly. In fact, one couple pretty much implied that. And I didn't take it personally. I could totally get that, from their perspective, 3-4 adults, 10 kids...Come on! How could it be that bad?

Um, it could. And yes I have something to do with it. Yes I am willing to change it up. But I need partnership. I need us to take it on. I need this not to be a YOU or ME problem, but a WE solution. 100% leader, 100% parent and 100% cub scout.

So we created that. I made a Code of Conduct Contract. I wrote out all the unacceptable behavior and had the parents read it to their kids and sign the code of conduct. We created partnership between the parents, kids and leader. I asked the parents for their input and took it. One had her son, an almost Eagle Scout come and do uniform inspection and be on Time Out watch (which was not needed). She got a Wolf Totem to hold as a talking stick and created a sticker chart. The parents stepped up and helped out during the meetings too, we divided up the kids and conquered the disrespectful behavior. Normally I would do everything myself....but as that wasn't working...it was time to take it from Me to We and man...what a miraculous difference!

The boys were alert, attentive, respectful, raising their hands, engaged and awesome. It was dreamy. They felt proud of themselves and so did we.

I am looking at how I can apply this to my life...going from the single focus of me to the Power of We...in the area of messes around the house ( chore charts from Cub Scouts sure do help!) and genetically modified foods impacting our health. How am I trying to do it all myself and what is not working about that? What can I put in that would have powerful partnership show up? I am going to have to give up doing it all myself, thinking up of all the good ideas, being the leader for everything and having it go my way ( which is the right way of course). It's not about me, it's about WE.

I felt that giving up relief yesterday when I offered ideas at a planning meeting to label GMOS. They wanted to do other things or call it something different. I reminded myself that this is not about MY idea, it is about OUR nation having food that is labeled truthfully, real and healthy. I felt wonder and freedom when I opened up my vision of the future to their perspective, their contribution and our common goal.
I gave up my fear and controlling reaction... like a black crow flapping and hovering, I let it settle and be still...and saw the power in the people around me instead.

It's time to be authentic in life, time to share what is not working...time to pour our hearts out and be totally vulnerable. Because in that authenticity, we find our humanity, we bond with others, we love ourselves and can be with ourselves and others exactly as we are. There is so much power in authenticity. There is so much power in listening. There is so much power in inviting people to be a contribution to our common purpose. Let people in. The Power of We is wonderful.

I cannot wait to see what we create in working together for our common purpose to label GMOS. It may not look like anything I imagined, but after my experience with my den meeting, I have faith that it will be better than anything we all imagined.

Zen Honeycutt

"Health Come First" and How it Doesn't

My Mother used to bring a bowl of chicken broth to me when I was sick and gently chide me to put away my book, drink my soup and sleep. "Health comes first." she would say...homework, reading, etc...would have to wait. Now, when she hears the rush in my voice and weariness creeping in, she reminds me, from 3000 miles away, to take care of my health and I do. Most of the time.

For Halloween, I was sewing large round polka dots onto a white sweat suit to be the zebra-turned-circus-horse Character Chris Rock played in Madagascar 3 "Afro Circus, Polka Dot Circus, polka dot, polka dot, polka dot, Afro Circus!!!" and I could barely thread the needle. My eyesight is going. I am almost forty, I thought, and my body is going through those changes, that's just the way it is.

Realizing I have also been unusually tired and because health comes first, I went to my Iridologist, who looks into your eyes, take a photo which is analyzed by a very high tech computer system and she points out all the mineral deletions, physical symptoms and causes for pain, sickness or issues in your body.

She could see that I had muscular pain on my scapula ( amazing! It had been hurting for months and I didn't tell her!) which was causing pain up my neck and muscles tightening across my face and restricting the blood flow to my eye. My right pupil was significantly smaller than my left pupil and could be the source of my eyesight blurriness. Completely correctable and not a function of just getting old.
This is preventing me from just accepting deteriorating eyesight, getting glasses and living with the blood flow being restricted to my eye and brain. Who knows what problems that could cause over time? Blindness? Brain deterioration? I went to a holistic doctor who focuses on cranial work, who said that the pain stemmed from my liver, which was over taxed from filtering toxins. She did some kind of massage to my head and liver and I left feeling completely better. I will also go to an eye doctor and maybe get glasses, but I will not ignore the cause and continue to monitor my neck pain as more than just bad posture, but as the a sign my brain is not being fed the blood it needs.

She saw that my stomach was acidic, causing a likely hood of more allergies, adrenals were overworked which causes very low energy levels, fatigue and irritability...and that really effects my parenting and confidence.

She then saw that white foggy lines around my pupil showed deep concern for osteoporosis, a serious lack of calcium and weakening of the bones. It's the reason why my grandmother hunched over constantly. But she was in her nineties...why was I getting this in my thirties? I eat very healthy food, lots of greens which supply more calcium than milk! I was shocked but so grateful to be able to know this and take a high quality calcium supplement for the next six months (which she does not sell or make money from) and then I will go in for a bone scan. This is preventing me from permanent spinal curvature, lifelong pain and being aware to not get wonky and do risky things that cold have me easily break a fragile hip. Hip surgery is tens of thousands of dollars and months in recuperation.
An injury like that would greatly impact the function of my family.
And a western medical doctor would never see these things in a regular checkup.

Why do I share all this? Because none of this is paid for by our Healthcare system, and that's just ludicris. I also believe that many of our health issues, including mine are related to GMOs in our food. According to "Genetic Roulette" movie,GMOs are sprayed with and injected with glyphosate, which is chelator, meaning it hugs the nutrients in the plant and strips them away to kill the weed. 70-85% of the food I was eating up until a few months ago, had this chelating chemical in it. I believe that a huge number of people who are mineral depleted now are experiencing this because of the glyphosate in our food which is hugging onto and depleting our bodies of the important nutrients we need. We then get sicker and experience liver overload, muscle aches, pains, fatigue, rashes, inflammation which can result in weight gain, auto immune diseases and more.

Alternative health care, and paying more for organic food is preventative and saves me and the insurance companies and the government tens of thousands of dollars in the future. It allows me to function as a responsible member of society and contribute, rather than site on the couch and take in disability. Alternative healthcare has us truly put health first, and out future first. And eliminating GMO's sustains our health.

WHY then, isn't the government promoting preventative healthcare and organic food?
Because it doesn't occur to them that health really does come first. Money does. Their jobs do. They have it all mixed up. They should listen to their Mommas.

Zen Honeycutt